Popularized by Stephen Covey, author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," the 90/10 principle suggests that while we cannot control most external circumstances, we maintain tremendous power over our responses to those circumstances.
This mental reframing offers a practical and realistic approach to improving our experience of life through conscious choice rather than automatic reaction. So, about 10% of life consists of uncontrollable events like the car breaking down, drivers cutting us off in traffic, or business presentations not going as planned. These events weave into the fabric of human experience, and we must navigate this regardless of our preferences or intentions.
The good news is that the 90% represents our response to these circumstances – the thoughts, emotions, and actions we choose after an event occurs. This distinction between what happens and how we respond provides both freedom and responsibility. While we can’t control external events, we are the main driver of our internal world and choices.
Realizing this can transform feelings of victimhood into experiences of empowerment. We become the active participant in our life story, not the passive victim.
This choice is incredibly powerful. What is a reaction to an event can become a point of acceptance, of learning, of growth, or it can turn into blame, growing our unsettled state and rippling through the day until the entire day becomes a series of unfortunate events. Imagine how a mindset of control over our reactions to pain could help us to heal that pain, or keep us stuck in the trauma of feeling it?